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So in short: we are our favorite subjects because goddamn it feels good to talk about ourselves.And since this fits in with the reward theory of attraction, getting people to talk about themselves is a valuable part of getting people to like you.The tricky part is keeping the ball rolling; it’s easy to trail off – or worse, make someone feel uncomfortable about dominating the entire conversation.You have to be an active listener, taking what they say and bouncing it back by asking the questions.The sort of person who can just sit down with someone and have them feeling like they’ve known you for even though you’ve only just met? We’ve talked a lot about charm and charisma before, and what it takes to be a more fascinating, magnetic person.The key that underlies it all, to building a rapport and finding that connection, is simple: you have to be able to make people feel good.It sends the message that you don’t want them to feel cornered, as well as opening your body language. Yes, I realize that this seems like a nit-picky idea, but the tilt of your head actually communicates more non-verbally than you’d think.
Scientists have found that talking about ourselves activates the same pleasure centers of the brain that are associated with food and money.It’s called “the reward theory of attraction”; simply put, we like people who make us feel gratified and rewarded when we’re around them.If a relationship brings more pleasure than discomfort, then we find ourselves drawn to them and want that relationship to continue.Facing a stranger square on can feel intimidating; it can come across as though you’re trying to box them in.
Instead, you want to angle yourself slightly away from them, which feels more accommodating and friendly.I can’t stress enough how important non-verbal communication is when it comes to making a positive connection with somebody.