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Alerts are a great backup." After the financial evidence: be smart "If you find indicting charges that indicate cheating, the knee-jerk reaction is to confront," says Gargano."But let it go on for longer so you'll have more evidence." Compile all paperwork, keep copies of electronic files and start setting up a cash reserve if you're going to leave.Pay special attention to ATM withdrawals on the checking account statements, too, says Bourne."For debit cards, it will list where money has been drawn.Denise Winston, founder of the personal financial education website Money Starts Here and a banker for more than 25 years, says she's "seen it all" when it comes to cheating spouses and how their shopping habits have brought them down.
"So approach things carefully -- you don't know how dangerous of a situation you could be in." Remove your name from co-signed accounts and close them completely if you can as well.
A cheater may try to cover his charging trail by switching to online statements or blocking your access to accounts.